I stand all amazed at the love of our Savior and Heavenly Father have for us. He loves us so much. My concerns, my worries, my heartache is important to Him. As I communicate my thoughts and feelings, concerns and worries to Him, I know that He hears. And He looks for ways to answer my heartfelt prayers if I would just come unto Him, listen and trust Him.
The concerns and burdens on my heart recently have been for my children. Especially my oldest, Jarom. Because of the gift and power of agency he will be staying with his father for the summer. The thought of having my son so far away fills me with dread, fear and worry. Who is going to be the gate keeper? Who is going to protect my little one from the sin and temptation? Who is going to lead and guide him? Who is going to nurture him, direct him, and be there for him? Who is going to work beside him? Who is going to shape and mold him? Who is going to listen to him? Who is going to teach him to recognize the spirit? Who is going to help him with his scriptures and talk with him about the gospel late at night? Who is going to sing him lullabies? Who is going to teach him to share and give to others and be kind? Who is going to watch him? These are all things that I have worried about.
I have prayed so deeply to my Heavenly Father for his guidance and love with raising my children. I take it very personally. I have an entire paragraph in my patriarchal blessing that speaks about my children and my role as a mother.
My blessing says, "You will be bless with insight into the problems and troubles that your children will face so that you might know how to guide them and teach them. Make this one of the most important missions of your life, to raise your children up in righteousness. If you are valiant and diligent in carrying out this responsibility you will receive the guidance and inspiration that you will need. You will be blessed with the ability to raise your children in righteousness inspite of the great temptations that they will face."
I have been blessed to know one of the most important missions of my life. How many people can say that they know for sure what exactly one of their missions in life is? I do not know how many can say that but I know that I can. It is to raise my children up in righteousness. I take this mission very seriously.
But now, more than any other time, I feel the weight of everything I need to teach and guide my children back to Heavenly Father. How am I going to do this with Jarom when he is so far away. This issue has been on my thoughts, in my mind, in my heart and prayers.
On Friday night another miracle occured in my life, that confirmed to me that we truly have a loving, kind Heavenly Father who watches out and loves each and everyone of His precious children.
While pondering in the wilderness, I decided to just flip open to 3rd Nephi in the Book of Mormon. I found myself reading about the Savior's visit to the Nephites in the promised land after his resurrection. Chapter 17 reads:
11 And it came to pass that he commanded that their little children should be brought.
12 So they brought their little children and set them down upon the ground round about him, and Jesus stood in the midst; and the multitude gave way till they had all been brought unto him.
13 And it came to pass that when they had all been brought, and Jesus stood in the midst, he commanded the multitude that they should kneel down upon the ground.
14 And it came to pass that when they had knelt upon the ground, Jesus groaned within himself, and said: Father, I am troubled because of the wickedness of the people of the house of Israel.
15 And when he had said these words, he himself also knelt upon the earth; and behold he prayed unto the Father, and the things which he prayed cannot be written, and the multitude did bear record who heard him.
6 And after this manner do they bear record: The eye hath never seen, neither hath the ear heard, before, so great and marvelous things as we saw and heard Jesus speak unto the Father;
17 And no tongue can speak, neither can there be written by any man, neither can the hearts of men conceive so great and marvelous things as we both saw and heard Jesus speak; and no one can conceive of the joy which filled our souls at the time we heard him pray for us unto the Father.
18 And it came to pass that when Jesus had made an end of praying unto the Father, he arose; but so great was the joy of the multitude that they were overcome. 1
19 And it came to pass that Jesus spake unto them, and bade them arise.
20 And they arose from the earth, and he said unto them: Blessed are ye because of your faith. And now behold, my joy is full.
21 And when he had said these words, he wept, and the multitude bare record of it, and he took their little children, one by one, and blessed them, and prayed unto the Father for them.
22 And when he had done this he wept again;
23 And he spake unto the multitude, and said unto them: Behold your little ones.
24 And as they looked to behold they cast their eyes towards heaven, and they saw the heavens open, and they saw angels descending out of heaven as it were in the midst of fire; and they came down and encircled those little ones about, and they were encircled about with fire; and the angels did minister unto them.
25 And the multitude did see and hear and bear record; and they know that their record is true for they all of them did see and hear, every man for himself; and they were in number about two thousand and five hundred souls; and they did consist of men, women, and children.
I was struck with wonder and awe. My Heavenly Father would be Jarom's father. My Heavenly Mother would be his mother, his Savior would be his brother, his advocate, his mediator, his father. And the angels would surround my son. They will encircle him about with fire, and with the Holy Ghost. They will protect him and watch over him when I am unable to be there to do it.
Oh, thank you Father. Thank you for hearing the worries of my heart. Thank you for loving me enough to give me the scriptures that I can hear your words as I read the pages. Thank for answering the desires of my heart. Thank you for being my Daddy and the Daddy of my children. Thank for a Heavenly Mother who knows what my heart feels. Who also desires to care for, guide, teach, love and direct her children. Thank you for a Savior. Who knows so deeply and personally the feelings of my heart. Thank you for his love. Thank you for the blessings which he gave to those Nephite children. The blessings that he gives to my children. Thank you for angels who have constantly surrounded me. Who have saved me. Who have protected me. Who have been constantly around me, holding me up. Thank you for sending them to protect my children. To protect Jarom when I cannot.
We are so loved. So deeply, deeply loved. I did not know that I was loved this much. That we, as children of God, are loved this much. Do you know how much you are loved? Do you really know? Do you see His hand in your life on a daily basis?
Please come and taste of the fruit. Please come and feel of His love. It is most delicious to the soul.
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