Monday, May 7, 2012

Quotes by James E. Faust

My ward in Arizona is incredible. It has people from every walk of life. Very, very wealthy and very, very poor. I am the 36th single sister in our ward. The bishop has spoken with me many times about sacrament meetings. His main purpose is to have everyone come and feel the spirit. He wants everyone to come and be spiritually fed. To come and feast. It is amazing. The spirit is so strong in this ward. It's incredible.

I have been amazed by even the sacrament meeting bulletins. On the back of the each week is a quote. These past few weeks the quotes has pierced my soul and given me solice. They have brought answers to some of my questions, some of my struggles, some of my burdens.

"The atonement not only benefits the sinner, but also benefits those sinned agaist, that is, the victims. By forgiving "those who trespass against us" (Matt 6:13) the atonement brings a measure of peace and comfort to those who have been innocently victimized by the sins of others. The basic source for the healing of the soul is the Atonement of Jesus Christ. . . . . The injured should do what they can to work through their trials, and the Savior will "succor his people according to their infirmities." (Alma 7:12) He will help us carry our burdens. Some injuries are so hurtful and deep that they cannot be healed without help from a higher power. . . . He understands our pain and will walk with us even in our darkest hours."

(James E. Faust, Ensign, Nov 2001)

"In the pain, the agony, and the heroic endeavors of life, we pass through a refiner's fire, and the insignificant and the unimportant in our lives can melt away like dross and make our faith bright, intact and strong. In this way, the divine image can be mirrored from the soul. It is part of the purging toll exacted of some to become acquainted with God. In the agonies of life, we seem to listen better to the faint, Godly whisperings of the Divine Shepard."
-President Faust

WOW!! Thank you Father for answering my prayers. For helping me understand the reason for my pain, sorrow and loss. Thank you, Dear Father, for answering my thoughts through a weekly bulletin.

We are so loved!! We are loved so very, very much. He knows us individually. He knows exactly what we need to heal. He knows each and everyone of us. These little miracles in my life confirmed again to me, how loved we are. His love is amazing. Please come taste of the fruit. Come and partake. Come and feel to the marrow of your bones, the love of our Heavenly Father and his Beloved Son, Jesus Christ have for you.

Tender Mercies for my Children

I stand all amazed at the love of our Savior and Heavenly Father have for us. He loves us so much. My concerns, my worries, my heartache is important to Him. As I communicate my thoughts and feelings, concerns and worries to Him, I know that He hears. And He looks for ways to answer my heartfelt prayers if I would just come unto Him, listen and trust Him.

The concerns and burdens on my heart recently have been for my children. Especially my oldest, Jarom. Because of the gift and power of agency he will be staying with his father for the summer. The thought of having my son so far away fills me with dread, fear and worry. Who is going to be the gate keeper? Who is going to protect my little one from the sin and temptation? Who is going to lead and guide him? Who is going to nurture him, direct him, and be there for him? Who is going to work beside him? Who is going to shape and mold him? Who is going to listen to him? Who is going to teach him to recognize the spirit? Who is going to help him with his scriptures and talk with him about the gospel late at night? Who is going to sing him lullabies? Who is going to teach him to share and give to others and be kind? Who is going to watch him? These are all things that I have worried about.

I have prayed so deeply to my Heavenly Father for his guidance and love with raising my children. I take it very personally. I have an entire paragraph in my patriarchal blessing that speaks about my children and my role as a mother.

My blessing says, "You will be bless with insight into the problems and troubles that your children will face so that you might know how to guide them and teach them. Make this one of the most important missions of your life, to raise your children up in righteousness. If you are valiant and diligent in carrying out this responsibility you will receive the guidance and inspiration that you will need. You will be blessed with the ability to raise your children in righteousness inspite of the great temptations that they will face."

I have been blessed to know one of the most important missions of my life. How many people can say that they know for sure what exactly one of their missions in life is? I do not know how many can say that but I know that I can. It is to raise my children up in righteousness. I take this mission very seriously.

But now, more than any other time, I feel the weight of everything I need to teach and guide my children back to Heavenly Father. How am I going to do this with Jarom when he is so far away. This issue has been on my thoughts, in my mind, in my heart and prayers.

On Friday night another miracle occured in my life, that confirmed to me that we truly have a loving, kind Heavenly Father who watches out and loves each and everyone of His precious children.

While pondering in the wilderness, I decided to just flip open to 3rd Nephi in the Book of Mormon. I found myself reading about the Savior's visit to the Nephites in the promised land after his resurrection. Chapter 17 reads:

11 And it came to pass that he commanded that their little children should be brought.
12 So they brought their little children and set them down upon the ground round about him, and Jesus stood in the midst; and the multitude gave way till they had all been brought unto him.
13 And it came to pass that when they had all been brought, and Jesus stood in the midst, he commanded the multitude that they should kneel down upon the ground.
14 And it came to pass that when they had knelt upon the ground, Jesus groaned within himself, and said: Father, I am troubled because of the wickedness of the people of the house of Israel.
15 And when he had said these words, he himself also knelt upon the earth; and behold he prayed unto the Father, and the things which he prayed cannot be written, and the multitude did bear record who heard him.
And after this manner do they bear record: The eye hath never seen, neither hath the ear heard, before, so great and marvelous things as we saw and heard Jesus speak unto the Father;
17 And no tongue can speak, neither can there be written by any man, neither can the hearts of men conceive so great and marvelous things as we both saw and heard Jesus speak; and no one can conceive of the joy which filled our souls at the time we heard him pray for us unto the Father.
1And it came to pass that when Jesus had made an end of praying unto the Father, he arose; but so great was the joy of the multitude that they were overcome. 1
1And it came to pass that Jesus spake unto them, and bade them arise.
20 And they arose from the earth, and he said unto them: Blessed are ye because of your faith. And now behold, my joy is full.
21 And when he had said these words, he wept, and the multitude bare record of it, and he took their little children, one by one, and blessed them, and prayed unto the Father for them.
22 And when he had done this he wept again;
23 And he spake unto the multitude, and said unto them: Behold your little ones.
24 And as they looked to behold they cast their eyes towards heaven, and they saw the heavens open, and they saw angels descending out of heaven as it were in the midst of fire; and they came down and encircled those little ones about, and they were encircled about with fire; and the angels did minister unto them.
25 And the multitude did see and hear and bear record; and they know that their record is true for they all of them did see and hear, every man for himself; and they were in number about two thousand and five hundred souls; and they did consist of men, women, and children.

I was struck with wonder and awe. My Heavenly Father would be Jarom's father. My Heavenly Mother would be his mother, his Savior would be his brother, his advocate, his mediator, his father. And the angels would surround my son. They will encircle him about with fire, and with the Holy Ghost. They will protect him and watch over him when I am unable to be there to do it.

Oh, thank you Father. Thank you for hearing the worries of my heart. Thank you for loving me enough to give me the scriptures that I can hear your words as I read the pages. Thank for answering the desires of my heart. Thank you for being my Daddy and the Daddy of my children. Thank for a Heavenly Mother who knows what my heart feels. Who also desires to care for, guide, teach, love and direct her children. Thank you for a Savior. Who knows so deeply and personally the feelings of my heart. Thank you for his love. Thank you for the blessings which he gave to those Nephite children. The blessings that he gives to my children. Thank you for angels who have constantly surrounded me. Who have saved me. Who have protected me. Who have been constantly around me, holding me up. Thank you for sending them to protect my children. To protect Jarom when I cannot.

We are so loved. So deeply, deeply loved. I did not know that I was loved this much. That we, as children of God, are loved this much. Do you know how much you are loved? Do you really know? Do you see His hand in your life on a daily basis?

Please come and taste of the fruit. Please come and feel of His love. It is most delicious to the soul.



Late Night Wanderings

On May 5th the moon's orbit was the closest to earth that it will be all year. It was so amazing. So beautiful. So incredible. Late at night I loaded up my two youngest children into the van and headed East. I just drove and drove and drove. I drove to get away from the lights and sounds and hustle and bustle of life.

I found a secluded spot off the road and parked. I had packed a sleeping bag and a lantern. I pulled them out and laid back and spent some time with my thoughts. My heart swelled with gratitude for this creation. For the world, for the moon, the stars, the cosmos, the universes, the landscape, the cacti, the flowers. the rivers, mountains, streams. For my precious children. For my family. For my siblings, for my parents, grandparents, extended family, friends. For all those who have adopted me as their own these past few months. For those friends who I have reconnected with for their love and support.For gasoline that lasts longer. For food from the Bishop storehouse that continues to be filled. For my dog. For so many, many things.

I truly did not know. I did not know that we were loved that much by our Heavenly Father. That we individually and intimately are loved. That His love is so perfect. That His love is so miraculous. His love is amazing. It fills every void. Penetrates every wound. His love is incredible.

Please comes and taste of this fruit. Come and partake. Come and be healed and be made whole; both body and spirit. Come. It is delicious to the soul.

Thursday, May 3, 2012

Dream by Melvin J. Ballard

I am so grateful for a kind, loving Heavenly Father who allows us to be led and guided by modern prophets and apostles. One of these apostles was privileged for a brief moment to dream of being in the presense of deity and recounts:

"If I shall love to be a million years old, I shall never forget that smile. He [the Savior] took me into his arms and kissed me, pressed me to his bosom, and blessed me, until the marrow of my bones seemed to melt! . . . The feeling that I had in the presence of him who hath all things in his hands, to have his love, his affection, and his blessing was such that if I ever can receive that of which I had but a foretaste, I would give all that I am, all that I ever hope to be, to feel what I felt then."

Can you imagine what that kind of love would feel like? To be eternally encircled in the arms of his love. To feel the love so deeply that it causes the very marrow of your bones to melt. This description is incredible. The spirit burns within my heart every time I read Elder Ballard's word. I want more deeply than anything else in the world to feel this love. To have my children feel this love. To have my family, my parents, brothers and sisters to feel this love. To have every person I know or have come into contact feel the love of our Savior and Father in Heaven.

Did you know that you are loved that much? That we are loved that much.

Mercy for Vehicles

I stand all amazed at how loved we are. How deeply and intimately our Heavenly Father loves each and everyone of us. The little stresses and trials in our daily life He cares about.

My Toyota Sequoia has not been acting like a Toyota. Its been acting like a Ford. (fix or repair daily) It has been in the car repair shop in 3 different states since Feb. I just took it back for the 8th time today. It has been very, very expensive but what do you do when you only have one car to rely on.

This past week I took it to my mechanic in Scottsdale, AZ because the check engine light kept coming back on. I have re-register it and have safety and emissions completed on it by May 21st. Plus I would like to sell it because its huge and a major gas guzzler.

My kind mechanic told me on Tuesday when I picked it up that he replaced the thermostat and he wasn't going to charge me for anything except the part. But then he surprised me even more when he said that he was not going to accept any money from me for a few weeks. He wanted me to drive it a few times and go through a few drive cycles to make sure the check engine light doesn't come back on.

Really?

Are you serious? I have NEVER had a mechanic say those words to me before. He told me that he really wanted to make sure that it was fixed and he knew that I would pay him back sometime in the future. I stood there awestruck. Thank you. Please know that I only have $16.00 in my account. I was so grateful. Thank you dear Father for sending me to an honest, kind mechanic.

Unfortunately, on my way home from the mechanic shop my check engine light came back on. I called and told him. He was just as frustrated as I was. This thorn in my side. What Toyota acts this way? Seriously.

His kindness and our Heavenly Father's mercy did not end when I drove away. The mechanic asked me to bring in back in for his buddy to check it out.

So today I dropped it off again. The mechanic told me that he had a friend who worked at the Toyota dealership that owed him some favors. He said that he would cash in those favors for me so that I could get the work done on the car that I needed. He also, isn't going to charge me for all this extra effort he is putting in.

Can you believe that? He told me that people have helped him out and that he really wants to help me out. Isn't service amazing? True, loving service does so much good. It softens hearts and makes the receiver want to give to others. I have had to be on the receiving end of service many times these past few months. It is very humbling. It has made me want to give so much more back.

I truly stand all amazed at the love our Savior has for us, for me, even with something as trivial as a vehicle.

Thank you Father. Thank you for another bite of that fruit which is precious and delicious. Another daily example of your love for your children.

Wednesday, May 2, 2012

So many miracles

So many miracles have happened in my life. I want to record them as evidence to everyone of the love of God. Perhaps by the miracles that I share, someone else will notice the miracles in their own life that happen on a daily basis.


Due to my move across the country and all the car repairs that I have had over the last two weeks. I had only $16.00 left in my account, the gas light was on and I still had many foster/adoption meetings to attend,  my eight-year old did not have anything to drink with his lunch, and I had a $25.00 car repair the next day. It would be five days until I would receive my next check. I was a little stressed but I had paid my tithing and I knew Heavenly Father would take care of me.


After work, I picked up my children from Grandma Jestes's house and went home. My children of course were asking to go get treats and do activities. I gently reminded them that our bank account was empty except for a few dollars for emergencies.


As we got out of the car at our home, Josiah, my four-year old, ran to get the mail. As he pulled it out many ads fell out and a  letter from Indiana government. Ugg, I thought. More bills from the court. I got everyone herded into the house, put in pajamas, teeth brushed, scriptures read, Harry Potter read, lullabies sung and finally everyone tucked safe and soundly into bed.


I then turned to the stack of mail on my counter. It is always exhausting to go through the mail especially junk mail. I pressed forward with my task. Ads. Bills. Credit card applications. More ads. Grocery store fliers. More Ads. Finally I got to the last one in my stack. The one from Indiana.


I followed the creases on the sides and then across the top, ripping away the sealed portions as I went. I was shocked and stunned to find my first ever child support check. It wasn't much but I was so happy. I felt the spirit of the Lord swell within my heart. This truly was a blessing from a loving Heavenly Father who was watching out for me and my children. Thank you dear Father for another tender mercy. Thank you for your loving and guiding hand.


I am truly encircled about eternally in the arms of His love.

Why I started this blog?

So I decided to start a blog where I could record for my children, my family and my friends the tender mercies which the Lord has extended and continues to extend to me everyday. I want my children to know how loved they are!! How cherished they are!! How much their Father in Heaven loves them!!  How much each and every one of us are loved!! I did not know that I was loved that much! That we as children of God are LOVED THAT MUCH!! 


The prophet Lehi in the Book of Mormon spoke of a pure, white fruit. This fruit was desirable to make one happy. He went forth and partook of the fruit, and it was sweet, above all that he had ever before tasted. This fruit filled his soul with exceedingly great joy. This pure, white fruit is a representation of the love of God, which sheddeth itself abroad in the hearts of the children of men; it is most desirable above ALL things. And then he wanted to share this fruit with his family.


Like Lehi, I have had a small sample of that fruit. It is so glorious. So delicious. So amazing. So precious. So desirable! I want my children, my family and friends, ward members, community and co-workers to know for themselves how sweet and precious this fruit is. I want them to taste of it with their whole heart and soul and be filled with joy. I want them to know this fruit truly is the most desirable thing in the world. To know that I would do anything, become anyone, give away every sin, weakness, habit and addiction to feel eternally of that which I had a foretaste of.